The book is open to some pictures of Cézanne's works. This painting is also "gone". I am not sure what happened to it, and I also am not sure why I named it the way I did, except that Cézanne has always been one of my art heroes from whom I have learned a great deal about painting.
I got sober in 1973 after many years of thinking that my drinking was enhancing my creativity, when it was the opposite, and finally I realized I had not painted anything for years, and even if I wanted to, I was forced to admit to myself that I couldn’t. I could barely function, and because painting is not a hobby or pastime, it is hard work, and in the end it was the horror of realizing that I might have no talent left or the ability for creative thinking, I reluctantly pushed myself into AA.
In the ensuing few years I started painting on nights and weekends in my converted living room, and this painting was one of many I did during those years. It is not very good, and the photo makes it look worse, but I was happy with it at the time. Actually I was happy to be able to paint at all, and this painting, along with many others, indicated to me that it was not over yet!