This is what I wrote on my blog on September 25, 2015.
Here We Go… Guilt!
One year ago I quit my job as curator of the Gallery at Carrollwood Cultural Center in order to work on the eleventh painting in the Feeling Series. I worked steadily on the set up of the various props and furniture that I wanted for the painting and you can see the result below. I have had a few comments, like "I don't see guilt here", and why is there a gun in it" and "what's with the suitcases and handbags", "I don't get it", and "this painting is so different from the others". My answer is that this painting is about my feelings about guilt, presented symbolically. Having worked my way through so much of it during my lifetime; it feels like a chaos of baggage and failures, hurts both given and received, and the myriad layers of perceptions of guilt ranging from my role as a white person in a rarefied society, to my addictive personality, to many decisions I have made in my life that are not appropriate to discuss here!
It took a year to set up the still life and assemble all those “things” in the way I envisioned them in my mind. I had been collecting much of it for years. Fortunately I had more time to paint so it seemed like a quick painting in comparison to others that took much longer, due to various work pressures. As I write this (October 23, 2016) the painting is signed and the still life has been disassembled and the many objects stowed away or returned to owners. It took only a few hours to undo what had taken a year to set up.
The next one is “Laughter” and I dread the doing of what is in my head. Stay tuned.